Tears…

Tears of joy
Tears of sorrow
Tears of pain

We shed tears for so many different reasons.

As Ben turned and walked away from us for the 5th time since starting college, I found myself surprisingly tearless.

I guess I’m starting to get used to (or numb to) saying “see you later”.  I don’t like it any more now than the first time – but it doesn’t rip my heart wide open in piercing pain like it did the first few times.

Less than 12 hours later, as our plane begins to taxi down the runway, I am blessed with the window view and one last glimpse of the snow capped Rockies.

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That’s when I unexpectedly burst into tears.  But tears of what I wondered?

Tears of emptiness, accepting that I wouldn’t see Ben again for a few months.

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Tears of gratitude for an awesome ski week with my guy and Ben.

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Tears of comfort, knowing Ben is in such a great place – physically, mentally and emotionally.

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Tears of sadness, since I’ll have to wait 9 months until I can ski again.

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Tears of AWE!

As I looked at the majestic peaks of the Rockies, a chill moved through me and I felt God.  I felt him in and around me – and at the very same time – in and around the mountains.

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It was a moment of intensity and calmness, a moment almost too powerful for words to describe.

Does my connection to the mountains make me feel closer to God?  Or does my relationship with God make me feel more connected to the mountains?

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I guess it doesn’t much matter which came first.  What does matter is the fact that I can no longer deny that my heart and soul belongs in the Colorado Rockies.

I can live a beautiful life at the beach.  But in the mountains – my soul sings, my soul dances, and my soul feels so deeply that it sheds tears.

With Gratitude, Joy & Love,

Comments

  1. Gladys Spady says:

    Beautifully said. Thank you.

  2. Lisa Stark says:

    I understand what you are saying :) I have lived in CO for 10 years and I still feel like it is a dream and I must be on vacation. I look outside and see Pikes Peak and just stare at the awesomeness -as if it was my first glimpse.

    • I SO get that Lisa!!! I laugh at myself – every time I return, I take pictures of the SAME thing – the same drive to Boulder or Vail, the same mountains, the same ski slopes. You’d think after all these years I don’t need any more pictures of the same thing. But it is SO AWESOMELY GORGEOUS – I just feel compelled to capture it in pictures over and over again! I asked my son Ben if the view of the Flat Irons has gotten old to him – he said while it has become “ordinary” in the sense that he gets to see it every single day – it has NOT become old. He still respects and appreciates it. Not too shabby for a 19 year old!

  3. Tracy LoAlbo says:

    God displays His beauty and splendor through His creation of nature. Nature is the ultimate theologian as written to me by a dear friend’s son. Soak up every minute of it and while you are waiting to ski again…………soak up His creation here at the beach. Love and hugs, Debi!!

    • Thanks Tracy! I have definitely been moved by nature before – and especially the water, the ocean, the beach! I think what’s different about the mountains – is that you can see them, morning, noon & night. YOu don’t have to GO to them, like we do here with the water (unless of course you are blessed with living directly on the water!) Always appreciate your words!!!!

  4. Sometimes I think I enjoy your photos as much as I do your words – both captivating!

    • Too funny Molly! I’ve been a hobby photographer since high school. Toyed with the idea of turning it into a business at an earlier stage in my life. NOW – i sometimes find myself compelled to take pictures – like in the mountains. Same photos every trip, same mountains, they don’t change – but I just have to photograph them each and every time I’m there!!!

  5. Leslie law says:

    I feel like my eyes are fooling me with those picturesque views…almost seem impossible!So glad you had a great time and the pic of the three of you should be framed!

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